THE DESOLATION
Pain is a disease, it's like a virus that gushes into your blood and throughout your body, it resides. It will take you into roller-coasters of depressions and suppress you, it will transform you into a different person. It will secrete a hormone into your heart and brain that will make you feel deeper. That will fuck you up and make you go insane. It will devour you, engulf you, consume you and ruin you, but all you can do is encounter these acts and your process of transformation.
THE DESPAIR
The saddest thing was that feeling I used to get, like I'm worthless and not good enough as I was supposed to. I felt like I was nowhere near my designated target. It felt like they were piercing venomous stings into my heart with their atrocious words. My heart was porous, and as light as a dead bird's feather. Whereas I wanted to escape the reality. Wanderlands were my home then, and I was born to be the paradoxical wanderer wayfaring till her heart's content. For a girl with rawest of dreams like these, constant daunts should not be given even the slightest attention. But they were injecting the lethal words deep into me. My heart could not tolerate the doze at all I guess, as even the slightest thought about the chain of words broke me and tore me apart. They made me feel so shameful of myself for being my authentic self. I couldn't look into the mirror for weeks. It's strange how people turned the girl who adored herself into a girl who's desperately hunting and introspecting herself for reasons to like herself like before. Months after then and now, I'm sad of the fact that I'll be remembering these lonely melancholic agonish nights due to the unfair discountenance that occurred to me.
But you, no matter what, don't give up on yourself. You're all that you had, have and will have in future. You're gonna make memories of yourself, so that you will someday look back into life and say "the greatest companion for every human is oneself". Follow your dreams and passions, it is the realest path to a realest life. Everybody knows to settle for the wrongest things, but only the bravest will have the courage, strength and wisdom to follow their passion. Of course you'll need to strive to achieve it, for passion means suffering for the things we love. Without sufferance there would be no satisfaction.
But you, no matter what, don't give up on yourself. You're all that you had, have and will have in future. You're gonna make memories of yourself, so that you will someday look back into life and say "the greatest companion for every human is oneself". Follow your dreams and passions, it is the realest path to a realest life. Everybody knows to settle for the wrongest things, but only the bravest will have the courage, strength and wisdom to follow their passion. Of course you'll need to strive to achieve it, for passion means suffering for the things we love. Without sufferance there would be no satisfaction.
~THE GIRL WHO LOVES INFINITY
